We are made up of people who have built and destroyed us.

For me talking about my feelings is so difficult and not natural at all; and I think is similar for many people especially in Poland - due to culture mostly, so we are building a walls around us because we are so sensitive inside.

Thats why exploring the world and visiting other places can help you to open, to see other parts of human being, to try something new and to build yourself again stronger, the way you want to be and suits you. 

Travelling changes you totally. Like Frodo who was walking through Middle-earth, everything has impact on you, so when you come back from journey, you still remember who you where but you feel you are not that anymore.

I love to "become" an open person again when I meet somebody new - you can do it freely because that person does not have your "past" picture in their head like your friends or family do, so you dont need to behave the same way as you used to and that it freaking releasing. You can learn new healthy habits, change patterns and unsupportive believes. And as much as I love to come back to my country, I dont like myself there as I automatically behave in my "old way" (in 80%). But I have to warn you - travelling is not for everyone (more about it in upcoming article). 

You are born pure and true person but later on (not so many people are taught how to actually deal with life) most of us are covered in layers of social coats and believes which suppose to make it more simple in general but as it turns out it complicates human relations and makes too many conflicts. Thats why to show your inner feelings and thoughts - to become vulnerable, is so f'cking scary because you can be easly hurt or judged but at the same time its necessary if you want to find a true relation. It contains constant trying and failing until you get it. 

But I guess if the person you chose for a friend is "right for you", you will feel acceptance and the fear of openness will be less scary. Sometimes you dont know what it is, but you just feel that this person is OK. And the difference you can feel only by listening to yourself because if you feel inside some squize in your stomache or chest its a sign to be careful with your trust. 

However when you are travelling, you meet many people with potential to your friend - one of them stays, the other goes and its always painful. But there is nothing in this world more important that the person who cares about you and its honest to you. Because when the time get dark (and it will at some point), that person can hold the last sunshine in your heart until the darkness pass. Or when you start to get lost in your thoughts and become a bit :insane:, they can bring you down to earth and thats gold.

We were not so different than a Hobbits - we are not meant to deal with life alone. As a species like ants who are making their own structured "society" to survive, we need each other too and we need at least 1 Sam in our life.

Let's face it - we live surounded by people but who does not feel lonely in this world right? With all you went through, experienced, felt, discovered... Being like Frodo with his burden on a neck with whom nobody can comprehend. Did anyone in your life understood you in total? Only people who had similar to yours but still how do you find it in a society full of closed to connection people.. Also how we can blame them to be afraid of that closeness if it can hurt so much and so we are afraid it too?

The conclusion I guess is that we all can find a courage to do so. But first we need to find ourselves, seperate the chaos of everyday noise and notice that we are stronger than we thought. Here in New Zeland you can find such a peace around, that its easier to hear your inner voice, your needs, believes and expectations, discuss with it, listen and reconfirm your way of existence. Its easier to live in the moment so the time slows down. 

However you dont have to come so far away. Its so simple - all you need is just a nature and you! And good couple of hours without your phone.

Ahead of me is waiting trip to Hobbiton - this is the main reason I am here. Although I have a feeling that I will be disappointed to see all that magic in real life and discovered that there is no magic there. But thats why you know its a great movie - it moves your imagination in such incredible places and thats the reason too, why some dreams are ment to stay dreams and never be accomplished. 

PS. I truely believe that the hero in LOTR is not Frodo but Sam... 

First time I saw them, when I was around 13yo. Since then I love fantasy world and I watched them already hundreds of times. However I did not even know that such a thing like New Zeland exist - I was even too young to understand how the planes works. 

When I was living abroad for the first time (this story will be uploaded soon), I slowly entered into adulthood and realized that I dont want to live in Poland neither in UK. I was thinking that Spain might be the place for me but again after all, something was bothering me there. Although I could noticed that a new idea appeared in my head - some day I want to settle down so I need to find my perfect place for that. I do not know exactly how the idea of New Zeland came into my mind but its been loooooooong time already since I wanted not only visited this place, but live here and finally stay. Although its not so easy to become resident here at all. Actually for some people its even impossible. For me this year - 2024, was my last chance to come on a working holiday visa (you can apply until 30yo) and experience for one year about how it is to be a citizen here. I was always imaging it in my head as a paradise. At this exact moment - couple of years after and plenty of experience later, I can admit that such a place does not exist in this galaxy. Its only in your imagination unfortunately. If you are interested about life on this Island you can check this article. 

During my lifetime when I got a chance to know myself better, I am sure that I want to have a green land with animals - goat, hens, wild birds, doggo; fruit garden, and close to the water (beach or river) + away from people/noise. What I value the most in the world is silence and peace of mind. But also what I discovered through being in so many "weird places" in life (physically&spiritually) and with my constant watching Lord of the Rings story is that, pure friendship is truly precious. So of course life conditions (weather, politics, economy, etc.) matters as much as your happiness but with that type of relation in your life, the place on Earth is not so much important anymore. 

But you can only recognise who is your real friend, when you are self aware - have good connection to your inner feelings and gut. With the time you can visibly feel who wishes you good in life and who is part of it for their own purposes or ego needs. 

And of course you dont need wait for your Sam or "soul of Jesus" to appear, because you also need to develop a skill to be open for other's failures and mistakes which will be painfull to you sometimes, (the same as they need to do so in order to accept yours, as we are simply imperfect human being). But the indicator would be if they enjoy your company for who you are and when the moment happen that somehow they hurt you; when you say it out loud, they realise it including taking responsibility, so you still can be friends because they want to stay in your life and vice versa. For that both of you must be able to express yourself in such a way that you keep respect for both sides.

Either you meet new person like that or you grow, up to this level, to have such an :intimate: relation. As a people we need to become vulnerable and find within us our inner adult who is managing all wounds and inner child which possess all emotions reappearing. Because as the world is changing, human needs do not change so fast. We have already our basic needs covered (except "third world" countries), but we crave for connection. What is more in the face of disaster, we need each other even more.

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